


But seriously, who's better

by CruelisnotMason



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 19:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16687453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CruelisnotMason/pseuds/CruelisnotMason
Summary: When they shared body and conscience, Shiro could get hold of some of Kuron's memories. There's one scene in his mind that makes him particularly confused, and Shiro can't tell if the memory of it was real or not.





	But seriously, who's better

It's been a while since they had dinner together. It's been so long that Keith thinks grabbing some food at the Garrison's cafeteria together with Shiro is some kind of ' _treat yourself'_ for Keith, something you allow yourself to happen once in a while, like a chocolate bar, although you have to push your conscience away, because it won't stop whispering: 'You know, _once_ you had it, you won't be able to stop.' 

Keith pushes that thought into the back of his mind and reminds himself that this is healing time, time to be yourself with the person you love most, and there's nothing wrong with that.

 

He's already seated when Shiro appears in the door across the hall - Keith immediately straightens, puts his hands up on the table, but ends up drawing nervous circles with his left hand. Shiro doesn't hug him when he's arriving (which is disappointing) , but he touches his hand for a moment when he's sitting down, a gesture enough to make Keith's heart spring in squares.

"Has Iverson been sitting on your throat again?", Keith jokes and Shiro laughs - beautifully - but shakes his head. He puts his food down in front of him, makes himself comfortable and takes a small breath.  
"It's not Iverson, it's...", he trails off, but gets back to focus again and looks Keith in the eye, because he's getting serious right now. "I've been meaning to tell you this, but I haven't", he starts and Keith's mind is a puddle - what follows could be in his eyes everything from 'I've realized I love you' to 'Me and some hot ex boyfriend from my past with which I have an unbreakable connection are getting back together' and damn, Keith's never been able to keep his head cool when Shiro makes an announcement and doesn't immediately continue speaking...

"So... I've been going to therapy and unexpectedly... it's really going well." Shiro says the last towards his sad bowl of - of course - mac'n cheese... is he ashamed? Keith's unsure. "That's great, Shiro", he reassures him and takes the hand that's holding the fork, stroking it. It's neither a new nor bold move, but Keith's still anxious and jumping inside.

"You think so", Shiro states more than he asks, lost in thought. Keith doesn't know what else to say but wants to be supportive. "How's the therapist? Are they nice?" is a much better question than "What are you talking about with them?" Keith realizes fast enough.

"They are an angel", Shiro sighs, "I don't think there's anybody else as good as she is, it's pretty good talking to... you know, talking to a professional instead of...", he's taking another breath, "...not talking to anyone at all. She's definitely not a problem, if there are any issues at all, it's just...Some memories are coming back."  
There are a few thoughts that cross Keith's mind, first of all, that he's happy he has somebody to talk to, that he understands that maybe Keith is not the right person to talk to (if there is a right person among the paladins at all), that he still can't believe that Shiro never broke down and has been strong in front of all of them. He doesn't say anything of these thoughts to him.

  
"Memories", Keith echos. Keith doesn't regret telling Shiro (or his clone) things... things he never told him before, things he mulled over and lost sleep over, when white shocks with glimpses of the future never left his side for two years. He doesn't regret, but also doesn't know if he's ready for talking about it now. It's been a long time already - Shiro had had the chance to say something if he remembered or to just briefly mention if  anything remotely about their current friendship should change, but he hasn't. 

"Of my time as Zarkons prisoner. Some others, too, but mostly that. It's..scary to get to those memories back. But it's also scary not knowing, so I'm like, duh." Shiro's grinning because - Keith figures - he has to take it with a bit of humor to be able to cope. The situation is also unheard of, so Keith is wondering how his therapist is taking it. 

Keith laughs and digs into his meal. "I'm happy you don't have to go through it alone and she can help you. I'm really relieved."

Shiro smiles at him, looks down at the hand that's still on his, then moves it carefully. Keith gets the clue and lets him eat.

They talk about lighter things from then on, about each others days, about the latest movies that came out and how none of them really clicked with them, about Iverson and Montgomery and the new cadets - how one of them reminded Keith of a younger Shiro, or at least how he imagined him, over eager but shy.

"Nah, I was lazy and a rebel", Shiro had said and Keith composed himself well enough and only shoved Shiro a little over the table.

They finished eating quickly and decided to take a walk outside later. It's late, too late for them both to be outside right now, but they can't seem to part - the talking and laughing going on and on. He has missed this.

Shiro remarks that the stars shine unusually bright and Keith only answered a quiet and amused 'what's that supposed to mean, Shiro'. He doesn't answer and they walk in silence.  
The quietness is fine, Keith likes being quiet while being in company (alone together), but he notices that Shiro's brooding and it's making him uneasy. He's thinking about asking Shiro something, just to stop him from spiraling thoughts, but he doesn't now what to ask, so he finally just says: "If there's something you wanna say, just say it, Shiro." He's not urging him.

Shiro side eyes him. It's obvious he doesn't know if it's not to heavy for them right now. He looks up then, not to search for the stars, but rather to escape Keith's gaze.  
"I.. just.. I have this memory", he hears Keith's breathy exhale and reassures him quickly, "it's not from the time as Zarkons prisoner."

He's hesitating again, still looking up and not meeting Keith's eyes. "I've dreamt about it and I wasn't sure it's a real memory", he continues while they walk at the back of the Garrisons buildings towards a small park with a tiny pond and tiny fish. "So far, it sounds weird", Shiro says and finally looks down again and Keith can see his eyes again. They arent vulnerable, not as vulnerable as they were when they were at the cafeteria. His brow furrows and he continues, "I feel like it's not my memory so it must be, like, the other one's memory."

They finally stop walking when they reached the bench at the park, stars shining and sparkling over them - everything's so small and quiet under the galaxy's tent - Keith feels small too, because he suspects he knows what Shiro's getting at.

He never knew what happened to the other Shiro, to him, his...clone. Shiro told him, that they didn't have a fight, they just accepted whatever there was - Keith didn't understand it really, and he suspects not even Shiro understood it fully. But that wasn't the point. Shiro walks a few steps and Keith follows, waiting for him to speak again.

"You kissed him", Shiro says suddenly and stops dead. Keith freezes too. He decided that he might have never known, the real Shiro, as soon as he reclaimed a body.

  
"You kissed him, before you went away -", he stops and turns to look at Keith, searching in his face for something. Keith stands still, unable to breathe and move.

In every reality this 'talk' could have played out, this was the worst one.  
"And not only that. You told him, you love him."

"I...do I really need to say something to that?", Keith surpresses the strangled noise that wants to leave his throat. Of all things, he did not see that coming.

"So this memory is true?", Shiro looks like he didn't really believe it from the start - and Keith regrets that he didn't consider denying it instantly.

But they've been past that, he thinks. Keith is past the point where he wants to lie and deny, or maybe he was never at a point where he wanted to put his feelings in denial at all - only until a small part believed that there was an option that Shiro will never reciprocate.

"Yeah..", he says reluctantly, voice getting higher at the end. He pushes his hands in his pockets and looks down.

"Keith", Shiro says, "Care to retell me that memory?" His voice is gentle, but also a bit hollow. He's sad, and Keith can't say why.

"Alright?", he agrees and thinks that if he hadn't been a member of a secret space ninja organization, hadn't traveled through time, space and realities and fought an evil space lord, he would think that situation would be a bit absurd, telling your friend how you kissed his clone.

"So", he starts, unsure of how to tell it, because it was an embarrassing memory after all, but one Shiro had a right to know about. "It was the day I told everyone I will go with the Blades, we all hugged and I went to your room that night. I kissed you and run off. That's it."

Shiro looks at him, mouth open.

"You kind of made the same expression back then too. Hah", Keith tries to laugh naturally but fears the weird smile that creeps about his face.

"That's how you tell that story?", Shiro asks, eyes still blown, and something in his voice makes Keith go onto defense: "I haven't told anyone, Shiro! Who would I tell that I kiss you and you say nothing and I tell you I love you, and then, you know what? Nothing again - you could have at least given me a rejection by now, but you're touching my hand and stuff like that -"  
Keith's rambling and realizes it too late. He maybe should have talked to someone about this before - it's a lot of build up panic and anticipation, and he knows it. Shiro's looking at him, but he doesn't say a word. His mouth is still wide open and they stand opposite to each other, just looking and waiting.

"I'm sorry", Keith starts, but Shiro instantly says: "Don't be. Really. I... should be sorry. I.. at some point, Keith... I thought it was wishful thinking."

There's a gap between them, from when Keith started rambling and retreating, but Shiro closes it.

When he stands in front of him, Keith's mind starts scrambling. Wishful thinking, echos in his head.

"I've dreamt so much about you, at some point I didn't know what was real anymore. I hoped for that specific memory not be real." Keith's heartbeat drowns everything out, but he understands now. "You wanted to be there", he states plainly, looking down to his feet while he feels his cheeks getting hot. "Yeah", Shiro breathes, and suddenly he's even closer - hands midair, unsure if he should proceed. Keith looks up to him, in his bright and vulnerable eyes, mind getting foggy from how close he is, how close he is really real Shiro, here with him, on earth grounds in his space and atmosphere.

"It'll be all yours now - I mean, if you want", Keith says and looks at Shiro - who looks back just as intensely. He feels a hand on his jaw, a thumb rubbing circles and grabs for the wrist to hold it there.  
"Don't do me a favor here", Shiro warns and Keith presses his hand and smiles. " 'M not."  
He feels the flying prosthetic hand at his waist, tender holding him there. Keith can't wait any longer, but he goes slow for Shiro's sake.  
He looks at his closed face when it's coming closer, the long eyelashes and the cheekbones, the beautiful face that has seen too much too quickly and looks older than it is, but not less wonderful in any way. Keith's hands wander to his broad chest, carefully touching it, then slowly wandering up and down until he fists the fabric and pulls him closer.

Shiro snorts right before they meet, lips clumsy but carefully. Keith is relieved when he doesn't click his teeth on Shiro's like he did with the other one - they have all the time in the world this time and at least their feelings are kind of sorted out.

Shiro is tender. His hand is in his hair, softly stroking the black locks and angling his head, he's out of practice but falls easier into it than Keith, who's practice can be summarized in that one rushed kiss before and a spin-the-bottle-kiss in 7th grade with a cute shy girl everyone wanted to tease by making her kiss the emo boy.

Obviously, it's nothing like that.

Keith is getting bolder with the kissing, although his lips are closed. (Luckily) neither of them is slipping any tongue at the moment. It's painfully sweet and makes his heart beat like it wants to escape his body. He cages it by pressing his chest to Shiro's, pulling his arms around his neck.

When they part, Keith's lips are red and tingle, and Shiro looks like he's in an absolute daze. Keith can't blame him.

"That's.. good. Better than the memories."  
Plural, Keith thinks. "Of course it is", he answers.

They kiss again because the night is still young and thankfully nobody dares to cross the Garrison park at night.

"Keith", Shiro breathes into the kiss this time, "you're unbelievable." Keith smiles and keeps kissing him. He is, too. Keith wants to never let go of him.

But they have to, eventually, before the security guards scan the property and they need to explain themselves (they both aren't up to that).

Shiro takes his hand when they walk back to the buildings and employees' quarters. He's rubbing his thumb over where their hands are joint, and looks at Keith - until Keith looks back.

"Promise me something, Keith", Shiro says when they reach the dorms. Keith looks at him awaitingly, expecting something serious to follow.

"No matter how much I nag you about it", the white haired man grins and it's obvious that he doesn't take it serious at all, "but never tell me which one of us is better at kissing." Keith snorts and shoves him playfully, thinks it's okay to laugh about evil or not so evil clones and about kissing them, it's okay when it's with Shiro.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/CruelisB) & [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/cruelisblue)
> 
>    
>  If you liked this, I'd be overjoyed if you left a comment! I welcome:  
> \- short comments  
> \- long comments  
> \- "<3"  
> \- constructive criticism! (Please take into account if the work is old/recent, and that I'm not a native speaker/ that I'm doing this as a hobby in my free time :)   
> So please voice your criticism politely; but I do absolutely welcome it!)


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